As a dark cloud decends upon our country and we are, for the first time since I’ve been alive, thrown into the news spotlight normally shining on the likes of China and New York. Suddenly Cyprus is the country on everyone’s lips.

I am heartbroken at the way in which we are being treated right now. Please don’t misunderstand me, Cyprus is my country and I love it and am proud to say that I am a Cypriot, and forever will I defend my country and its people. However, its becoming increasingly hard to defend the greed and theft that is taking place right under our noses.

Given the choice between between bankruptcy and having money deducted from my account, I obviously choose the latter. But please, give me the choice. Don’t take my money from me whilst I sleep! From dreaming about the fun I am going to have over the bank holiday weekend, to awaking to find that I cannot even get to my money; ATM’s frozen, on-line account transfers frozen, a violation of our human rights being carried out as broad daylight robbery. I cannot infact go out and celebrate as I have no cash.

Ask me, ‘do you want to help save your country?‘ My answer would be ‘yes of course I do!‘ I dont want to see the country in which my dad was born in, the country I visited as a child, the country where my friends are from, shrivel and die. Of course I’ll help save it. I’ll gladly give my 6.75% if it means we dont go bankrupt. But do not steal it from our accounts like untrained theives, balaclavas pulled over your heads, peering out making sure you dont get caught.

As a Cypriot people, we are angry, we are in the spotlight, the whole world awaits our reaction. We must be heard, but with diplomacy, we must stand up for what we believe in, but with dignity. We must stick together and help each other. Lets not let the Cyprus we know and love slip out of our hands.

It’s common to see a police car at the side of the highway. Sometimes they help us see them by staying on the hard shoulder with their blue lights flashing, so that those of us with good eyesight can quickly reduce their speed from 120 to 115. Sometimes, they like to play Hide and Seek and they park their cars in the bushes, their beady eyes peering over their speed guns waiting for us like hunters at night waiting for a hare. On some occassions they park behind pillars, exit signs, anything they can find to obscure themselves from our view. At other times, they can be seen simply sitting in their cars, no radar gun to be seen. What are they waiting for? Perhaps a pizza delivery?

Then you get the Terminator style traffic cops on their motorbikes. These are the ones to watch out for. They are fast and sneaky and they too hide in places you didn’t think possible.

I saw them one time on the Finigouthes, Larnaca, watching a young English boy on his moped. He was parked on the pavement, he got on his bike and wheeled it off the pavement before starting the engine. He put his helmet on ready to go and suddenly they had surrounded him. They gave him a fine for not wearing his helmet (although he had to remove it to talk to them). His argument was that he was stationary, the engine was not even on, but they were having none of it so they wrote him out a ticket. I was going to intervene to help him out but I didn’t think either party would see the benefit so I chose to observe only. Beware of the Terminator cops, they are ruthless!

The last style of traffic cop is the whistle blower cop.

The cops in the tight blue uniforms, constanlty blowing on their whistles. These cops look more like strippers than policemen and I can often see the women at the red lights fantasising about the tight blue uniform being thrown to the ground, until they once again blow shrilly on their whisltes waking them from their thoughts and signaling them to move on. These are my favourite traffic cops! ;o)

Now Cyprus as a nation of food lovers, where we eat pigeon, illegal tiny birds (that I can’t pronounce), snails, lambs head, lambs testicles and kidney, I really dont think we will have a problem if any traces of horse meat or even horse mane, is found in any of our food.

The crucial thing here is that all this situation has done is highlighting how badly the British population eat compared to how good we eat here. Horse meat was found in processed foods & ready meals. Since moving here I dont think I’ve ever eaten a ready meal, I wouldnt even know where to buy one. In London, my super fast lifestyle meant I didnt have time to go to the butchers for fresh cuts of meat, let alone cook a meal and so ready meals is what I lived on. I therefore would have probably consumed half a horse myself, in the time passed since having moved to Cyprus.

But its not rat is it? I mean the French eat horse and it’s quite a delicacy I hear. So I am not fussed. As long as I dont start growing hooves or jumping over my neighbours fences, I’ll be fine.

Cypriots tend to buy fresh cuts of meat and cook ‘proper’ meat, not processed foods. I would bet all my worldly possessions that my family in the village have never seen a ready meal, let alone eaten one, and good on them for not conforming to the pressures of a quick and easy solution. It doesn’t take long to cook a fresh cut of meat, and with so many recipes online and videos on Youtube, even the worst cook can rustle up a hearty meal without a lot of fuss AND they can be happy knowing that their meal wont ‘Neigh’ at them half way through!

In Cyprus however, you’re immediately greeted by warm smiles of people that aren’t in fear of getting mugged. You’re greeted by beaches and warm weather, the smell of charcol grilled meat. Just waking up knowing you have the luxury of walking the dog along the seafront or hills and fields, knowing it won’t rain while you’re out without an umbrella. You have the luxury of going to work by car or a relatively short painless journey by bus. In the UK, you would have to get up whilst its dark, in the freezing cold, walk to the bus stop, catch the bus than the tube, and sit in a stuffy, crowded, germ infested carriage. That’s not luxury. Luxury here in Cyprus is accessible, its all around us. We have the luxury of not leaving the island and still be on holiday!

I may not be financially rich and I may not have material wealth, but I live a luxurious life in Cyprus simply due to its natural beauty, that is where true luxury lies and we are lucky to live among it. )

The stress of seeing someone you love in so much agony was enough to drive anyone to smoke. So much so that her mother who had given up smoking as part of her 2012 new year’s resolutions, took out her electric cigarette and began chuffing away. If you have seen one of these before they are a clever gadget to help you quit smoking. They are metal but look exactly like a real cigarette. They operate electronically so you charge them up, then when you inhale on the tip the end lights up and the capsules inside which contain nicotine even give off ‘smoke’. They are very realistic. Well they fooled the nurses because one of them approached her and told her to put out her cigarette! She proceeded to show her the electric cigarette and said its not real. Its not real smoke and it is fine to ‘use’, people even use them on aeroplanes. The nurse’s reply was ridiculous, hilarious and downright mind-boggling; “I’m sorry, you still cannot use it, as the other Cypriots will think its real and they will all start smoking.”…Just take a minute to let that sink in. Her statement says many things. It says 1) Cypriots are stupid. 2) I’m stupid. 3) We’re all stupid. How can that possibly make sense? If society is that stupid where they see someone someone ‘smoking’ a fake cigarette that they then think, hold on, im in a maternity ward, with new born children entering the world, and mothers ready to drop, but i’ll light up a fag anyway, then we may as well all pack up and go home and stay at home for the rest of our lives! I mean come on nurse, give us all some credit. How can she insult her own people like that? I mean yes, sometimes we can all be a bit stupid, but our people are not that idiotic! It’s true that the Cypriot’s cannot be told where to smoke. People still smoke in clubs, and bars and caffenes, but they have observed the no smoking ban in restaurants. I think the Cypriots have done well considering and I refuse to believe that a Cypriot would spark up a fag in a maternity ward.

So giving birth here as opposed to England means that my friend is still in the hospital and hasn’t been chucked out straight away, and she is waiting for all of us to visit her today after work. No doubt there will be food galore being passed around her bed and loud laughing and lots of ooing and ahhing at her new baby.  I can’t wait! I might even spark up a fake cigarette to celebrate!

I love that summer here ranges from 3 to 4 months long and not having to remember to take a jumper or umbrella everywhere with me. I love that I can live in flip flops for 4 months and I love the healthy brown glow my skin has. I also love that most Cypriots take a whole month off to relax. The company I work for is an off shore company so I dont get this luxury. This is the part I hate about living on a summer island. I know my friends will be relaxing, going out, getting tanned, sleeping all day if they want, while I will be in an office working. Its really hard getting the picture of your mates at the beach out of your head and getting on with work.

But, I don’t enjoy sweating as soon as I step out from under a cold shower! I never ever actually sweated before I came to Cyprus. I literally had no idea what breaking out into a sweat meant! I don’t like that my eyeballs and my tongue actually feel hot! I don’t like my massive electricity bills, because without air con I feel that I’d pass out. I don’t like feeling lethargic after a 2 minute walk to the periptero.

But thats where the list ends for me, there are not many things I don’t love about summer, as I am a summer person. I was meant to live an outdoor life, basked in the sun, which is why I moved here in the first place. I love the feeling of the sun on my SPF 20 protected skin, I love the constant smell of souvles in the air, and the fact that you want to stay up all night and join the tourists out drinking!

What I love the most though, is seeing the families camping out at the beaches. On my drive home there are often  hundreds of families gathered in their separate groups. White plastic tables and chairs arranged in circles or squares, giant spotlights hanging from wires attached to the Thiblogambino, music playing Greek songs drowning out the noise of the generators. The souvles are smoking away, drinks are flowing, kids playing, people laughing and eating. I have been tempted on so many occasions to wander down and gatecrash these beach parties. I am pretty sure id be welcomed too. The Cypriot people never miss an opportunity to share their food with another fellow human being, it’s a symbol of our rich culture and one which I am so proud of! Here’s to a long, hot summer!

Growing up and going on vacation with my family, I remember the most important thing my dad used to pack was food! He didn’t care if he only had 1 pair of shorts, or only 1 shirt, so long as he had an array of Cypriot produce packed into his hand luggage he was OK.

Even if we were coming to Cyprus, he’d still pack Cyprus Halloumi and Cyprus figs. “Dad, we’re going to Cyprus, you can buy all this stuff when you’re there” we’d say to him. “I don’t care” he would reply in his thick Cypriot accent, “Heathrow doesn’t sell Halloumi and I want it for breakfast.” Fair enough, we’d shrug.

The most memorable journey I remember, was returning from Cyprus back to the UK travelling by Cyprus Airways. My dad had been given a ‘kalathaki’ (a large wicker style basket) from my aunt, packed with snails – live snails! It was covered by a checkered cloth and wrapped round with string. We are talking about 20 years ago, so the airlines weren’t as strict as today! He checked this in as ‘hand luggage’. As  we boarded the plane he hoisted it up into the overhead bins and settled into his seat. My brother and I hung our hands in embarrassment as all other families were checking in duty free bags filled with chocolates and booze, but not our dad. We then settled into our seats and forgot about the ‘kalathaki’ over head.

It wasn’t until about 2 hours into the journey that the screams of an air hostess woke us from our nap. We looked up and there she was staring and screaming at the overhead bins. To our horror the snails neatly tucked away had decided they wanted a bit of fresh air and had escaped the not so secure confines of their village basket. They were everywhere. “Who does this belong to?” the air hostess demanded. My dad, still asleep was angrily shaken awake by my humiliated mother. Holidaying with Cypriot families are always memorable!

My friends always loved hearing my holiday stories with my family as they never went smoothly!

Another holiday hilarity was our holiday to Disney World in Florida around about 1991, during which my dad experienced his first trip to a shopping mall. He was amazed at all the shops and the cheap Levi jeans and branded trainers. He bought himself a pair of jeans that were too tight and too long. We told him not to, but he wouldn’t listen. Being a Cypriot, and always armed with ‘tools’ incase of an emergency, he took the jeans to the car where he proceeded to hack off the bottoms with a pen knife. My brother & I (and my mum) looked on in horror.

“Dad, are you seriously going to wear those?” I asked, my face going red at the thought of walking around Disney World with my dad looking like he just stepped off the horafi (field)!

“Yes of course I’m going to wear them, why whats wrong with them?”

“Well they’re not hemmed dad, they are going to fray everywhere!”

“It’s ok its ok I know what im doing.”

So we shut up and looked on as he put on his customised Levi jeans.   This wasn’t the worse part, the worse part was that in his hurry to shorten his jeans, he didn’t measure them correctly and they now came up to his calves! We seriously didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, but my dad wore his jeans and my friends all cried with laughter when I showed them the photographic evidence as no one believed me!

Holidays with Cypriot families are always memorable…and you often need counselling after!

The Cypriots like to sleep. I had never in my life, before moving here, experienced a siesta. I’d heard that the Spaniards did it, but until I moved here I didn’t understand why we needed a siesta and in fact how beneficial they can be to your health.

At first I thought the Cypriots were lazy for taking a two hour break in the middle of the working day for a ‘nap’. I mean, if I had asked my boss back in the UK for a 2 hour sleep break, I would’ve been booted out of the door before I could count my first sleep sheep! However, in the rain and darkness that cuddles the UK, work is probably the best option. Here in Cyprus, when its too hot to even move let alone work, the lure of a cool bed surrounded by the wisps of air-con is a dream come true.

If only I worked in retail I too could join the people that go and recharge their batteries. Working in an air-conditioned office I dont have much right to a siesta. I could try tell my boss that Scientists have proved that power naps even for as little as 20 minutes make you feel more alert and re-charged. (Mitsuo Hayashi, PhD and Tadao Hori, PhD have demonstrated that a nap improves mental performance even after a full night’s sleep [source Wikipedia].)

At the weekend though, I treat myself and look forward to my afternoon nap.

After the beach, before dinner and going out, a nap is the best thing to prepare one’s body for the late nights of the Cyprus nightlife. This is why we have the time to sleep here. People don’t go out till late. When I first joined this lovely little island, I was showered and ready to go out at 8pm! My friends were all still sleeping. “We go out at about 11pm Maria, go back to sleep.”

11pm! That’s when the pubs close in Britain! It didn’t take me long to adjust mind you. Extra hours asleep and later nights at the weekend sound perfect to me. The only problem is on some occasions I have taken my pre-clubbing nap only find myself still there at 4am having slept through my friend’s phone calls. Missing a night out for sleep is a little sad but being in Cyprus, you can always find a club or bar open at 4am that will welcome a bleary eyed resident!

Any of you slept through a night-out, or even been late to get back to work?

We eat at every given opportunity. I remember Christmas growing up was amazing – not because of the presents but because of the food! We’d eat the traditional English Christmas roast; Turkey, potatoes, sprouts etc but all of this would be accompanied by the Greek dishes too; Pastichio, koubebia, kolokassi. We’d feast on the English/Cypriot Christmas dinner, sleep like most families, then at around midnight my dad and uncle would light the BBQ! We’d pile on the souvla, halloumi and loukanika and eat again and 2am! You really did need to be in the heavyweight category to win the Christmas eating challenge.

In Cyprus, even if we don’t want food or are full up, we still eat. It is an offence to refuse food. If you are at work and it is someone’s Birthday or name day the tradition is to bring in cakes and pastries. The nation is obsessed with pastries! There are bakeries on every corner, of every street. A croissant for breakfast, a tiropita for lunch and a loukanikopita on the way home from work. Surely all this pastry cant be good for you? Having visitors, what do we offer? A plate of pastries! Thahtila, tahinopites, eliopites, haloumopites, lokmathes. What about the sweet pastries all covered in syrup! You can even buy bombes and lokoumia on the beach or at the side of the road. I bought some the other day. I’m at the beach sucking in my tummy trying to look thin and the man with the bike shouting “Bombes, Lokoumia” catches my ear and my mouth starts to fill with saliva. I hand over my €2 and receive a bag full of round, deep fried, honey covered balls containing the most amount of calories I’m going to consume that day. And I’m eating them at the beach – in my bikini – trying to look thin isnt working when you have syrup dripping down your chin!

Avoiding the dreaded pastry off the beach isn’t easy either, in fact its simply unavoidable. You might have just had your dinner and you need to visit a relative for only 5 minutes. This is an impossible task. Firstly he or she will make you tea/coffee or a beer in the summer. Then a plate of food will appear as if by magic before you. It is normally a plate of pastries – either home made or shop bought. In the UK you’d be lucky to get a cup of tea with a plate of rich tea biscuits. It’s no wonder I put on weight when I come to Cyprus. It’s hard to resist. I would have thought that after 2 and half years of living on this island I’d be sick of pastry related goods, but I’m not. I love flaounes at Easter, I love the little baklava you get given after a meal in a restaurant. I love the fact that you can get full up on a halloumopita for €2. I must learn how to make these little pastry delights, although on second thoughts that would literally be a recipe for disaster - I would make the pastries and then eat the pastries and then I would become the size of a house. No I shall I stick to the bakeries for my pastry fix. Or failing that I can always visit a neighbour to receive my pastry goodies!

The other dentist I’ve visited over here, used to pause in between fillings for a fag break. Sometimes even working on my teeth with the cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth. However since the smoking ban he no longer has the cigarette hanging out of his mouth…he leaves it in the ashtray.

It seems you get two options of Cypriot dentists here; either they use the latest, high tech equipment, who like nothing more than a British Royal Wedding, or you get the surgeries in high rise buildings that look decrepit and like they need a good clean. However, I have had nothing but good experiences with the Cypriot dentist. I was so scared of having injections that in the UK I’d have my fillings without injections. But since coming here and meeting the gentle, good natured Cypriot dentists, I have been reformed and am no longer afraid. So dentistry the Cypriot Way, get’s the seal of approval from me & all smiles around.